days with amanda and lee

we got evicted from anatums and amanda offered us to stay with her.
she read from her new fresh publish book – butt cheeks, bread crumbs and bedbugs,
we talked a bit and then lee clayden played us some piano…
special quest karolina klonowska
amanda blog http://mandalaamanda.tumblr.com/post/132479380192/friends-of-the-interweb-i-produced-a-collection

we got evicted

I actually thought this would not happen and when it did I thought it would be more violent and the cops would be rude
But actually they were English politeness and said sorry and are you okay darling and so on. They also commented lot about how nice it all was.. I was in such a panic and forgot all I had to do in such circumstance but it seem to be okay
After packing my things and moving stuff around I started washing the dishes. Some people came not in uniform and some looked in my eyes in apologizing way while other look down like they were a shame
I mean someone washing dishes in their home while begin evicted is a statement.

then we moved all the stuff and it was weird this lovly space full of yellow suited men with walkie talkies and on the roof also, but Anastasia instructed us and we move important stuff and i saved the blue octopus

Actually I embraced it. Of course im only here as a guest but still I think a shift, a change, a movement is always to be embraced.
Im excited to see what adventures it will bring to Anastasia and Lee Fükke but of course I think the biggest lost is for community missing Anatums Abode as a place of creative exchange.

Me and Lee Clayden another residency artist were rescued my Amanda Mandala our next street neighbor who nurtures us and took us in.

And me and Amanda had amazing goddesses day and went on adventures together. we went to woman store and pampered our selfs and then we went to the oldest occult store in history 97 year old store and what are the odds they had a book launch party of icelandic magic book and we had cheese and whine and bought oracle cards. what a weird coincident and they loved it also that a icelandic girl was there. and we had nice talk with super english old wizards and witches

Today we are having a meeting and planning next moves. It was weird to walk passed Anatums today and seeing it all barricaded.

I want to say special thanks Anastasia and Lee for inviting me to stay in Anatums.
Its been interesting diverse experience on many levels.
I made lot of work and more jet to come in form of radio. We shared amazing talks and hugs and communication and I feel we are friends for days to come.
I wish them all the best on there next moves in the world.

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I am a person called Lee Clayden

I’ve been slightly tardy with making my first post here, life being full of bizarre distractions and suddenly getting ill and oh look you’ve got no cash you’d better go out busking and all that stuff. The things that happen between each breath, I swear these things lie in wait for the perfect time to pounce and then your coffee is all down your shirt.

My name, that’s obviously covered in the title of this post. I’m fired up, fascinated and obsessed by music, and my mum (a reliable source, she’s known me a long time) tells me this was also the case when I was a baby. I remember making up soundtracks in my head to my kid movies of toy cars failing to obey the highway code on one of those mats with birdseye cartoons of roads and towns. Actually one of those headsongs (which I turned into a guitar instrumental years later) turned out to be Hello by Lionel Ritchie. About two weeks ago, a steel drum guy busking outside Greggs, he played Hello. At that moment, I realised my subconscious plagiarism, and burst out laughing. (Its always exciting when a lone stranger suddenly laughs in public. Same as the feeling when a dog gets into your school playground and the teacher closes all the blinds to stop the class riot.)

And then I’m 11 years old and running up a hill to tell Natalie I have a crush on her. Animal Nitrate by Suede is playing in my head and races through me. I didn’t know Suede or the title of the song, it must have crept in from a radio somewhere, But I do remember the first shoots of joy, this song in my head, pushing me up the hill. Natalie treated my sudden appearance at her front door…lets say negatively? She ended up going out with Karl who I once punched in the side of the head. I can’t really remember why, he was alright.

My mate Gary from Middlesborough, a good footballer, weirdly cynical, weathered and world-weary for a 12 year old boy, he used to make bacon sandwiches and insisted the best bacon layout made an “X” across the bread. I mean he was wrong, but this isn’t about the bacon. This is, however, about his Dad’s music collection. All formats across the board. Tape, CD, vinyl. I spotted Nirvana among there. “Can I borrow this, Gary?”.

We got cable from a guy working for NTL, a dodgy box, with all the channels. We had a drill where we were shown how to quickly disconnect and then hide the box in case a clipboard man knocked the door. MTV was inside this box and I was given a pretty comprehensive lesson in modern music. I loved the girls best. Kim and Kelley nonchalantly blowing my mind with Cannonball. Belly, whose singer wore braces and didn’t come out of the screen and make out with me but that was fine because her music was exciting. It was called Riot Grrl and I found the whole thing fun, and easy to love. Elastica! Maybe I’m getting my timelines mixed up. But I thought Justine was awesome and I wanted to be her friend and take drugs with her.

A year later and I’m 13, helping my dad’s friend load something into his car boot. He gestured towards his radio, Oasis (a BRAND NEW BAND) was playing, he said it was the best band in the world today. When I finally saved up enough to buy their 2nd album, I was hooked. It soundtracked a vast block of time. It got me through the trauma of moving into a haunted house. I remember plastic fruit? Ash on TV playing Girl From Mars.

Right. I don’t wanna be a footballer anymore! I wanna be an artist. I want my work to be of interest to other mutations of me out there. It was a pure sensation, one of pre-words and pre-language, of no eyes or nose or mouth. I wanted people to read my lyrics and speculate on the real meaning. I fantasized and retreated into my own world. This is where I developed my love for solitude. I found I was much better at generating my own happiness than the outside with all the unfathomable people. One kid, James, spat sugary blue saliva directly into my mouth. A split second decision on his part, but I learned a lot in that micro-moment. I didn’t vomit. I washed my mouth out with coke and I’m afraid James lost my friendship that day.

To be honest I can’t remember much else from that time.

I do remember, years later, discovering eyeliner, vodka, the Manics, the graveyard as a place to hang out, and later on I got into smoking hash. Things moved rapidly after that. Writing songs! Then Sonic Youth put my soul into a fucking blender. I grew my hair long, started a great band, days I miss, a lot, every day. Its not to say that those days were “better” than these ones, but everything being new, and turning 18, the energy, the excitement. I certainly see the world through a different pair of glasses now. It made me a better poet.

The last couple of years I think I started writing poems for the first time that were actually worthy of attention. A very pleasing development. I’ve always written poems, 99% bad poems. Nobody has anything on me though, I’ve thrown them all out, the old poems. The old lyrics. There’s nothing left of the old work. I threw out ten years worth of writing on a whim. I wish I’d done it with more style but I simply left them in a bin bag in the loft of my old house in Brighton. Not gonna tell you the address.

Thankyou for reading this far. Part two will come very soon and will cover the here and now, what I’m doing at Anatum’s, when you can come hear it, and general updates. Busking stories are always good for a laugh.

May your days and nights be lived properly! Where there is pain, I wish you growth. Where there is pleasure, I wish you self-control x

 

thought of healing

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i have been staying at anatumes for 3 weeks now in residency. i came here with the idea of listening. i missed understanding everyone around me living in berlin were i still don’t speak german. it was challenging for me to live here, london felt rough for me with all its load sound on a busy street and not really lot of privacy living in community as im used to living alone but it was also healing inviting loving welcoming and challenging me to be better in communicating listening understanding my needs and needs of others finding the balance in-between and i honestly can say it grow me as a person. we also had amazing times and i made amazing friendships that will sail with me forward. and stay with me a long time. i even meet dragon sister and 2 balancing libras that give me lot to reflect on. when we are to much alone we miss company and when we are surrounded by community we miss alone time its allways this search for balance.. it was interesting for me the dialogue i had with people, i recorded lot of radio and i feel more work will happen in retrospect once im home and can refleckt on all that i experienced. i felt privlidged to have taken this journey with anatums. and been part of that family.

for radio we made jam session, talked about woman hood, we did poetry show and i documented events and sound i found on the way. we sauna we bath and we eat and hug and talk and talk.

next sunday is my last sunday in anatums.

i wanna create a event around the thought of healing. i invited the people i had most time with here in london to share with us in forms of stories dancing music poetry silence humor and knowleged. streaching ore mind and bodys together. and hopefully we can leave our self-doubt behind and give love to one another.

i have been thinking a lot about healing. i been thinking of what pain can give me and what i can learn from it and how i can be better in soul and body. in the balance between.
were does it begin in body ore mind ore collectively and find this connection between in dialogue and learning
i have to work my body for it to heal i have to stretch my mind for it to rethink and learn new ways with healing. i find humor and taking one self not to serioulsy is also a big key. to laugh at one self. how do we live in community with others and how to we live with our self. when do we need silence to be alone to ground ourself and when do we need a loving touch, a friendly hug, a talk.. how to we work with our sexuality, healing the masculine the feminine the child in side. the list goes on. a endless task for us to figure out. some find routine, something quickly that works for them while other struggle for a long time. sometimes we just need to take a walk be with our self, while others may need heavy psychotherapy

for sunday i invite you on a short radio journey with us. to be with us in a warm space and friendly embrace. we can not solve all our problems on one afternoon but we can share and laugh and feel each other in poetry stories musik walking and talking and playing.

Berglind Ágústsdóttir
Mandala Amanda
Florence Uniacke
Geraldine McEwan
Anastasia Freygang
Lee Fukke
Hanna

http://radio-mix-kassette.tumblr.com/